fufu and cici

2 nites ago fufu and cici tied the knot. I am less or fucking less than enthusiastic. It is a non conventional wedding reception. With cutting cakes, first dance and all.

Oh well to each their own. God...I really wish he realize what he's got himself into. In this sense I really hope my prejudice, my thought about the whole affair is wrong cos if I'm im right, he is gonna be in a lot of pain.

...and goodbye bro, I know even on present condition it's hard for me to meet you, I can't imagine after you're with Cici things will improve.

sigh

Mobet's 5th

Mobet's 5th

Guess what? I bought a 50 inch plasma for Mobet but hm…Bebet doesn't know that yet :) I really hope she likes it. The old Toshiba is fucked up beyond any recognition-FUBAR. I went to the shop after I came back from the future captains gathering. I was so engrossed in looking around for the best deal and I kinda go silent on Bebet and although she said it jokingly about me going missing and all and how I don't BBM her nowadays when she's flying ,how sad she felt when she switched on her Berry and no BBM from me…its like a slap on the face for me. I neglected her a bit back there. Not good. I told myself this last time, the moment you said it is ok or lazy to do something for your love ones, that is the moment where you take her for granted . Gosh.

I wrote a 6 page instructions on how to operate the TV for Bebet. I really hope she understand how to use it cos she has this new tech phobic thing. BUT, after she's comfortable using it, you're gonna need a crowbar to pry it off of her fingers hehehe.

I miss Bebet so much. Alone for 2 days is no laughing matters. Bebet is my hobby. :)

Love you so much Bet. Happy anniversary sayang guess what? We're 2 years next month. God...time travels at the speed of light.

The gathering

The Gathering

All of a sudden Tan send me a text inviting me for Abu's open house. I was like…Abu's open house? Surely Abu will tell me if there's one. I then replied I was not invited and I have another open house to attend. Abu then called me saying it was Tan's prank and since Tan already invited a few guys for the "Imaginary open house" might as well have one. So with a 'heavy heart' I agreed . I already declined so many of his invitation including Taco's. You can only decline so much before you lose some friends.

Path of the least resistant is just to call in last minute and give all sort of excuses but somehow I managed to reach his place by 3.15pm .

So there's Tan, Arafat, How and Abu. All Airasia future and present captains. By the way How just got the job. I'm really happy for him. Another tortured soul liberated. He is waiting for his offer letter before tendering his resignation.

We all chat for a bit. Boy now I realized how much I miss talking shop. Tan toned down his hm should I say "annoying cheeky " attitude and really became a captain. I mean I can see that in Lan and Fahmi. It's career maturity I guess. A certain air of class in the way they talk and joke. They didn't change for the worse but somehow evolved into this sophisticated living thing.

Kinda funny eh how an afternoon changed the way you see things. I need to see some friends just to say hi before I lose em all :)

On another note...

My long lost brother is getting married next week. What can I say. Though I don't like the gal that he's hitching but it's his life and his decision . He got the latest and the insider information . I on the other hand is an outsider looking in. I really have to respect that even though I know the moment he crosses that line, that's it…Im gonna lose him for good. God…that bitch better take good care of him or else I'll send some cunt hungry vampire to fuck her alive.

So here is a mug of beer which I'm gonna drink to your happiness, your future and your decision bro. May your second marriage will be the last and only, forever and ever until when when ( he he he )

You take care bro.

eid day 1

We touchdown today at about 6.13am. By the time we left the aircraft it's about 6.30am. Bebet picked me up at about 6.45am. Drove on a desolate road to home. Kinda sad actually. I'm numb. though I admit I'm not into all this, but after doing it for 36 years, the routine is kinda stuck there somewhere at the back of your head.

Had a simple salam with Bebet. After that a quick nap. Woke up, quick shower and then I thought of surprising Bebet, but Bebet is napping nicely downstairs. Poor Bebet. I bet she wanna celebrate. Our place is unchanged from what we use to face. Same piles of books and what not. I really need to pull us up from this mentally sapping garbage lifestyle. It's not a matter of choice now. It's a must.

Took a drive through KL. God, it's a fucking third world citizen day out. I don't even feel safe in my own land. Took the long way out through Ampang-Ulu Kelang-Kepong route. 1 hour later we took the Penchala exit to The Curve.

We did some window shopping for our so called jogging shoes. God, nike is like 380 a pair. No wonder people are fat all around. They can't afford a decent jogging shoes...yeah right. Had dinner at The Gardens and then home bound. Oh we bought a few CDs too.

So that's Eid's first day for you.

It's deepressing, I know.

Sigh

Eid Mubaraq

Eid Mubaraq in Malaysia is called raya. Hari raya aidilfitri. As usual since before Mobet it's a hit and miss for me. As far as i can remember it is just a romantic idea of a celebration. I won't say it's a Muslim version of Christmas for fear of crucifixion by my fellow muslim extremists but that's the general idea. Oh forgot to tell you, you gotta fast for 30 days before the celebration.

The first week of ramadhan will be full of sighing and 'trying' to be funny comments of having gastric, uploading pictures of food in the middle of afternoon on facebook and showing videoclips of porn to your fellow friends. as the days goes by, the said jokes are not that funny anymore and people will untag themself or in worst case sceanario unfriend you. nothing personal just that probably you are just too annoying.

The second week usually goes by without any big hoohaa as the fasting hits plateau. If you open up your facebook stat you will see people whining and sighing about their Raya leave has been rejected and what not and that's it but wait till you see the third and last week of Ramadhan

The third week you will see people tagging you left right and center pictures of Biskut Raya and that's Raya biscuit or cake whatever you wanna call it. You will also see people uploading their flight ticket home and baju raya. Baju raya is something like hmm a wedding dress but it's not...duh what kind of explanation is that! Oh and still whining and sighing from some quarters about them not be able to make it home bla bla bla enough already!

The final week is the worst. Forget about shopping. You can't buy shit. It's like the end of days is tomorrow. People spending money like they're shitting gold...ya a bit dramatic I know but that's the truth.

Me? hm I dont buy Raya shoes anymore, it's a Malaysian tradition. I'm using my past year's Baju Raya this year. The bloody company rostered me to arrive at 7am Raya morning. Great. I can't go back cos Bebet is working. It's okay. Bebet IS family though it's only the 2 of us and lil Bebet of course.

When I was a kid, my sis and I, we will wait for dad's Raya allowance. rm 300 and that's it. Imagine juggling between buying shoes and clothes. It ain't enough baby. Watching my friends rich dad buying em kids Reebok pump ( hehehe ) god that is so oldschool! is such a pain sometime but somehow it doesn't bother me. Not that it will leave me emotional scars and become a serial killer or something. Duh that is like so overrating . I'm fine. Promise. God... I missed Dad

That's raya for me. Mom and sis is celebrating in Kuching. Hope they're all well.

So selamat Eid Mubaraq and Happy Independence day. God bless Malaysia.

* b l o 0 d y h E L L *

Bloody hell !!!!



After I uploaded my last entry, the roster for August came out. Guess what? I got my freaking leave. The whole load of it and I don't quite know what to do now. You see, the birthday plan is on the 7th that's like less than 2 weeks to go. What the hell can I plan? Sigh.

Do you know how fucking hard it is to plan a holiday wait, rather a getaway on a short notice and limited budget? here's the story...

By default, Mobet's getaway would be Bali. Since I'm not sure where to go I checked Bali. So opened Google chrome, type malaysiaairlines.com and select the dates... What the fuck? The bloody flight is full! Not good!!! So I checked the hotels reservations just to be sure. Yup. It's full. So I dig deeper. Running through a few websites later I managed to get hold of this one site that do reservation for a hotel that you can't do online. It's called Puri Asih. I brought Bebet there to look see look see last time but unfortunately their booking system is by Fax only. Ya, tell me about it. In this electronic age we can e-manual, e-fuck, e- my brown ass...they still use fax machine. Get a bloody email la fucker. Aisey.

So I then had a brainstorming session with Bebet. Bebet suggested Koh Samui. I was like...why on earth didn't I think of that. Since our buddy Lan went there early July. Might be a good idea to check with him.

Feedbacks from Lan regarding Koh Samui is not that encouraging though. I asked him to rate the trip out of 10 and he gave it a 6. Asked him to explain and he gave a lengthy explanation of how difficult it is going around without transport. Average cab fare is about 500 bhat one way and the paradise is full of whites. That reminds me of Mobet's trip to Krabi where the waiteress took our order by mistake and refused to take charge and gave us a 'face'...well, Fuck you fucking she male arsehole! So in a way I think I know what Lan meant bout having too many whites. I checked the availability of hotels during Mobet's so call holiday unfortunately on the 12th is the Queen of Thailand's birthday and most rooms are taken. Long holiday in Thailand I guess. Anyways it's the norm nowadays where the whites are the price of things will increase many folds.

How to get there? Firefly air and airasia. Checked Firefly, and they only do 1 flight a day...what the fcuk? One of the privileges of being an airline crew is you get flight tickets discount. Most if not all we only pay10% of the full fare plus taxes and fees. Okay...let see, 1 flight a day, about 70 seats, standby ticket hmmm what are the odds of getting on board. So I called Lan and asked him, he actually went for the standby ticket, called Firefly everyday to monitor the seats and he already booked the hotels. Great idea...NOT!

The so called booking agency- baliwww.com is full of shit. I booked a hotel through them, gave them my credit card details and I still have to do follow up to check availability. In the end they just shoot me an email saying, sorry we are unable to book the hotel you wanted but how about hotel B. My ass. They try to book me Bali Bungalow. I read the review and most people rate the hotel as 1 star. Rats everywhere and what not. I think the 1 star is the minimum that people can rate. If they can rate zero, I think they would. In the end, we scrapped Bali off the board.

So we are back to square one. Dissecting our options and not so deep thoughts later we decided to revisit the idea of going to Koh Samui. Bebet is the one who spotted this nice resort to the east of Samui airport. Journey, according to the write up is about 45 minutes. I hope it will be a shorter one. Then, in the midst of anxiety fueled frenzy, I 'accidentally' booked us for the whole trip the jacuzzi pool villa. After I paid for the thing then I realized I should've book us on a 3 + 3 basis where the first 3 days stay at the normal jacuzzi room and the final 3 days the pool villa. Sigh. It's okay I guess. It's my birthday but then sooner or later we have to tone down our celebrations. Maybe once a year should do it with small local trips in between.

As I was wondering what is gonna happen to my anniversary leave, I received an email from the company saying the leave is already out but unfortunately mine is again rejected. I won't lie to you I'm very very disappointed...and a whole load of sadness. You see before, this leave shit doesn't bother me that much. I was like, leave rejected so what? That was when I was single. But now, when I have a new hobby ( read Bebet ) I'm kinda looking forward to our trips and time together. The company give me 32 days a year, which I can't do shit about. They should have this bidding system where they give you points for you to bid say, 100 points. If you want that leave so much maybe you can dump 50 on those and see if anybody outbid you and stuff.

Oh did I mention that there's only one flight a day to Samui with Firefly? Yup and I can't risk it. Recap Lan took the discounted ticket and stressed himself by calling the ticket hotline day in day out to check the seat and come departure day with hotels all fully paid for, the flight is full. Bloody hell! Luckily 2 passengers didn't turn up for the flight. You think I'm gonna risk it? Of course not stupid! I bought a firm ticket for Mobet. Guess how much? Rm1700. Tell me about it. Blame it on Idris Jala for all I care.

Yeah I love this company. It's my first job and my first airline. But then this has got to stop. They put old fucked up guys up there to run things. What do you expect when apes running the show? You get a bloody circus of course.

I am beyond mad. Talked to a buddy about this yesterday, you stay here you get fucked, you go somewhere else you gonna get rape big time. Not only that maybe, just maybe by the time you realized, there's a bloody fist up your arse. But then, if you're gonna get that, might as well get raped and get paid for it.

Anyways this goes to you fuckers in the office, fuck you fucking arsehole! You are going to work and I'm gonna have my 5 star holiday with Bebet. May you rot like a fucking dirtbag.

Ahem, Thank you.

hello July...bye bye July

Hello July, bye bye July. Wow I've been sleeping again. Totally skipped June and direct to July. End of July.

A lot of stuff happens between now and the last entry. I hm, didn't forget just maybe misplaced or distorted some of memories just the core of the event is still there somewhere :) Let's just recall as we go along yeah.

As predicted, my raya leave was rejected. Sigh. Some of my colleague "unfortunately" received their "unfortunate forced leave" one day before raya till the fifth. Some even until the seventh. I guess these fuckers stole my slot. Since Raya is out of the question, I thought of a leave for a week around my birthday. Ya, Momot's birthday...but nooooo, those fuckers rejected that too. Fuck you arsehole lover! I still have one card left though. My fleet Manager. I hate to play that card but since Bebet's leave was approved eons ago I need to be on leave too cos if not, I'm just gonna waste Bebet's leave.

Come to think about it, it's not much about the leave, just maybe 1 day before Aidilfitri and 1 day after should do it you know. The family gathering and stuff. Other than that is not that biggie. Let's move on.

Another one is Mobet's anniversary leave. Still awaiting approval. This bloody company that I'm with is really getting on my nerve. Mobet requested the leave 300 years ago and it has not been approve and it's like a month plus to go. We can't even plan shit. Oh! I know, maybe, just maybe if I request the leave when I was in primary 5, there will be a higher chances of the leave being approved...ya right, my brown ass.

Oh guess what? The company that I'm with, The Big Kite, are making losses again as usual. Yup not making profit, making loss. We are in the loss making business. It is rather a very good loss business. The head of the Kite is useless. Few weeks ago there was this kite show in Paris, The Big Kite happily announce they are exercising their option of buying 10 Boeing Kites, yup 10... and then the Red Giant hit back by announcing they are getting 200 of the flying bus...god damn, 200 dude. Try to beat that. A week after they ordered another 100 and 2 days ago they joined ANA, All Nippon Airways to start a redsun low cost carrier there... and here we are bleeding 200 odd millions, fucking hell.

Okay enough of that. Oh! I'm into instant camera nowadays. Just testing the medium. Kinda like it. Still waiting for my 2 polaroids from the UK and States. Can't wait yay. Will update once I got my hands on it.

I'm in Bombay when I wrote this. It's 23rd July and my roster is still not out. Sigh... this is deepressing. I'm just gonna stop here for a while.

:(

Krabi day out

Krabi day 2

It rained the whole night and mobet are hibernating like a pair or polar bears. Woke about 0715. Tossing and turning and a quickie lol. Then the breakfast. Sorry to say but it kinda sucks. Nothing special. We then went to the business center for our daily shot of iPad games hehe. We then made booking for the evening Aung Nam adventure. It's 200 baht each.

The beach is not that bad come to think about it. We didn't take a dive though. Just like the local says - look see look see :) then guess what? We found a pair of hammock!!! And that became our prop of the day.

Bebet then wanna have a look at the pool and took a dive or rather took a hippo style dip hehehe while momot play hide and seek. Bebet didn't quite enjoy the breakfast so she got her daily dosage of hunger pain in no time. Had green curry and iced coffee. Not bad.

Went back to the room for a quick rest before the evening plan.

Aung Nam is a small town. I guess the heart of the town is just about 2 kilometers long and full of shops selling the same thing. Souvenirs, tons and tons of souvenirs. The main aim of the day is check out the rate for the island hopping. Hopefully we can conclude the deal by today and get things moving by tomorrow. I bought 2 new ala vintage shirt. It's singha and Chang beer shirt. 22 bucks each though I think it's too early and compulsive buy but I'm on holiday so who give a fuck! Hehe

After walking till the town limit, I presume, we went to the opposite side of the street and checked out a few shop. Restaurant actually. Bebet ordered her favorite dish, Tom Yum Goong. Guess what? It's super !!! We got to know one of the staff. Very friendly and positive. Her name is Jenny. From the look of things, she must have her own fair share of a colorful history. Good English and passive aggressive, we were sold and booked the tour through her. The day after we plan to go to the hot springs and check it out. Bebet mentioned it many times since we arrived at the hotel so I guess she must really be curious. We both agreed to let tomorrow decide if we want to use Jenny's service for the day after.

Did I mentioned the food is super delicious?

Bebet says I kept things from her cos I'm too busy with my iPad lol. So got to go now will update you withnthe outcome of the island hopping trip.

Ciao Bella.


~ it's a mobet's world ~

KBV II

Krabi Day one part 2

Remember I told you we're gonna push back at 1355 local? We actually boarded about 1340 and by 1345 we have completed boarding.

It amazes me how they, Airasia managed to educate the passengers and how motivated their staff are. The passengers only bring in small hand carry and even before they clear immigration there's another team filters the passenger's cabin baggage. I guess in the end when the passengers knows that they will NEVER win the baggage arguments they just plain give up bringing in extra weight. Allowance is only 7kg. Now I wondered. 7 kg? That's like 7000 grams. My BALLS weight more that that duh.

Oh they intercepted our kite and hmm we have to check it in. Bye bye kite... We're gonna miss you.

Although we bought the hot seat, Airasia don't actually honor their part of the bargain where we're supposed to board first. There seems to be a bunch of non hot seat passengers boarded before us. Luckily the bus is not too crowded. Flight generally was good. As per Malaysian Hostility's tag line " beyond expectation " actually. Seat wasn't that bad either. But I can see Bebet refused to get comfy. I tried to make Bebet's journey better but...you can only do so much. In the end I gave up. I remembered those days the seat is non reclineable and the space is so cramp. Surprise surprise not this time though. Captain for the day is captain Arel. How come I remember his name? That is because he got the same name as the legendary Peter porn guy hehehe. Oh another thing is this guy landed really smooth. The kind of landing we aviator deemed " greaser " landing. Well the runway is a bit damp but excuses aside, I was expecting the Airasia legendary hard landing but instead a smoothy. Not bad at all. I'm impressed. Oh, what has damp runway got to do with a "greaser"? According to fairytales, it supposed to cushion the impact of the touchdown. Oh well whatever.

It rained in Krabi. Grey sky greeted us. We disembark first hm not quite, second in fact. Cleared immigration ( again ) and then the bags. I can't help to notice, Thais are very proud people. It's hard for them to greet you with a genuine smile unlike the Balinese. Now I know why I keep on loving the Balinese. BH- Bali hospitality god I miss em so fuckin much. I smiled at the immigration officer but she didn't return the favor. Whatever. I'm on holiday and you're bloody working on a weekend ha bloody ha ha. Err maybe that's why she's so grumpy? Like I give a fuck.

Waited for the bags for about 15 minutes. First my bag and guess what? The smiley kite survived the checked in baggage !!! O.M.G. I'm impressed. I was a bit worried when bebet's bag didn't turn up with my bag. I was thinking, she's gonna be so pissed if the bag is still in LCCT...in the end the bag turned up just a lil bit late. God it's like dodging bullets. Can't help to feel everything is my fault.

The transport guy waited for us. There were 8 of us in the van. 4 of them are Indy, 2 Malay couple. Let me rephrase, 2 fucking snobbish Malay couple. Oh well you fuckers can rot in your 3 stars hotel ha bloody ha ha. But then again they're staying in Aung Nam. That's the happening part of town by the way.

Next destination? Sheraton Krabi Beach Resort. Took us about 25 minutes to reach the hotel from Aung Nam. The driver says 45 minutes from the airport and we reached Aung Nam about an hour later and from Aung Nam he says 15 minutes and were there about 25 so I guess his watch is still tuned to 20 b.c's time.

The hotel is...super!!! At first nobody greet us at the lobby, that effect actually compounded my belief that these people only want my money, no, OUR money but did not provide us with the service but the when the bell boy saw us he took care of our bags and guess what? We don't even have to queue up at the reception counter but everything is provided for. The reception lady even ushered us to our room. Did I mention we got a free triple upgrade? Pretty cool huh. Or is it low season? Hmmm like I care :) The room is pretty cozy and the hotel is ... Q u i e t and I'm loving it. I think age is catching up with me. I love to bathe in quietness. I think I'll feel at home in a library. Like...duh

Bebet is slow to thaw. She lie on the bed and watch her universe super duper world hyper bestest show on the planet... American Idol. She watched it like gazzilion time and she still watch it. Same goes with DC cupcakes and the kardashian... I don't really mind though. As long as she is happy, I'm happier. Here I am like can't wait to jump to the sea and play my kite and snapping away hehe. Went to the beach like 1 hour before sunset and the beach is, sorry to say but it is not that impressive... A lil bit disappointed I guess.

Had our dinner infront of the hotel. Nuff said, it's a rip off. Went shopping at 7-eleven and then call it a day. All in all, it's not that bad I guess. Sometimes my expectation get the best ( or worse ) of me. I didn't know bebet loathe Airasia with all her heart and I guess I deserve the treatment. Gosh some customers are really hard to pleased. Hehehe

Good night for now. Another 6 more days to go... Sawadeekap



~ it's a mobet's world ~

KBV

K r a b i

What a way to start our holiday. Bebet dislike no, hate airasia so much. It shows and, in the end there's nothing harder than your other half not working with you. A trip is a journey. After making so much journey or trip be it working or leisure one knows that smooth sailing is either a myth or fluke.

If you work in the industry long enough you'll know that not until you get inside you room (the one that you booked,not the one that they try to shove down your throat unless it's an upgrade) with your checked in bag,that you have truly arrived at your destination. From leaving the house and arriving at your final destination a lot of things could go wrong. you might left your passport at home, you might left your wallet, your bags, you're not well and 1001 other stuff.

Back to the story. Here we are, at LCCT waiting for our ride err plane. Not a minute ago they just announced the plane is gonna be late. Touch down is at 1320 local, taxi 10 minutes, another 10 minutes for disembarkation, and another 5 for what ever god knows. So I think we'll be boarding at about 1355 local.

Since bebet is not in favor of taking airasia everything worries me. The delay, from leaving the gate to the aircraft. Yeah we paid for the numbered seat but would the other passenger race us to the aircraft later? Bebet is not gonna like that and in the end everything is my fault. So so hard to live up to expectation. Wish bebet could work with me instead of the other way round. I guess this would be the last time we take airasia. Next one would have to be national carrier and etc.

Come to think of it. Airasia is like socialist. Everybody is equal. No class in between and what ever you want you have to fork out. Full service airlines instead is a capitalist society. You reap rewards, luxury stuff and there are classes, strata.

God, 6 more days to go and this, today is not even half of the 1st day.

Tawaqqalilahta'ala


~ it's a mobet's world ~

perhaps perhaps perhaps

questions questions questions...

Lately I'm kinda a bit touchy with hm... how should I say it? Touchy with stuff that are supposed to be not so touchy. Make sense? Sounds good to me. If my emotion is a piece of cake, then I guess that piece of cake is already fucked and pulp up beyond any recognition. FUBAR. Oh did I mention to you that I'm writing this half awake? I think I walked like a good 8km around Frankfurt today. Oh I didn't tell you I'm in Frankfurt? Okay...now that you already know so that makes it a OK :)

I received my new addition of film SLR a few days ago. So today, is the baptism of fire for the camera. Finished 3 rolls of films. A Kodak finest grain 100 ( well, I'm half asleep so I guess I get to forget things ), porta 800 and centuria 200. Went out with this guy, we shall call him mister Duck. He is a big motivation and inspiration to me. His composition is so simple yet so nice. Should I dissect his brain? I...don't think that is a good idea too..and here I am with a film SLR... It's not embarrassing it's just feels weird. Can't wait to come back to process those films.

I can't help but noticed that Mobet is on a regular roller coaster ride recently. That's what I hate about new year. Same stuff happened last year. Can't we have like skip the whole emo ride and be sunny and shiny forever? Then again, I am not only a fair weather pilot. I fly through bad weather more often than not and I triumphantly ( "have to be so dramatic meh?" the nyonya shouted from the last row ) landed the aircraft.

They say if you don't have fear, you don't appreciate the things you have. They also say, if you don't fear of losing something, you don't love em enough. I kinda agree with that. BUT I hate this butterflies in my tummy. Yes, more than one. I think there's a whole village of butterflies in my tummy. Gosh, I think I need to do a cat scan pretty soon. I hate this feelings. The feelings of being unloved. Abandoned. I need love too. To be loved and cared for. Am I giving too much? Do I make you feel too comfy until you forgot to give but take? I don't want any of the worldly possessions. I just need you. I need your love.

...Felt like a puppy with a plague dying by the road side and nobody cares. Oh and picture that in black and white with thunderstorm hoovering on top of me...

Here are the things I wish for...

Talk to me, love me, tell me you love me, tell me you are faithful as I am. Say your deepest dirtiest secrets, you know I can take it.

Just like you, I need reassurance too.

happy new year and happy mobet's day

Wow, I can't believe it's 2011 already!! Now let's recap. Slept early on new year's eve cos I've gotta work on sunday morning the 1st of Jan. Bebet is off and I'm off to Sydney. Sickening...and that flight, my left hand man is Mister...we shall call him mister G.

There is nothing wrong with him except he work too hard, he is right 11 out of 10 times and you can't bullshit him on anything. Why oh why is that? Cos he is beyond sharp and spot on. I admire him although I can imagine it CAN be very hard to be on your toes all the bloody fucking time. Not to mention stressful. One thing he shared with me which I totally agree. He told me this :

laziness is a crime

procrastination is a very infectious virus

I totally agree with him. If you remember in my previous few posts, most if not all problems stem from laziness. Lazy to go further up ahead to make a legal U turn and make one illegal one? BAM! hit by a truck and die. Lazy to think about what you're gonna do tomorrow? wasted 24 hours of your life doing chickenshit. Lazy to think about your love ones? Wouldn't be surprise if you lose him/her pretty soon.

The latter, defined by wikipedia as..

In psychology, procrastination refers to the act of replacing high-priority actions or tasks with low-priority actions, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time

Pretty self explanatory if you ask me. Kinda a self reminder to yours truly as well. I'm a naturally lazy...no lemme rephrase, naturally lack of activity person. I do want to improve myself over the years but my main problem is I lacked motivation. So, if you ask me what is my new year resolution? I can simply say, I would wanna be a more hard working person and be less lazy. Gimme a break okay, I can't like lie to myself and say OK! I'm gonna be NOT lazy. Lemme ask you this, can you QUIT smoking? Like NOW? See? Oh by the way you don't have to answer that :)

Had a meaningful chat with Bebet via bbm last night. It's about person that we've been with. Gosh twice I disappointed Bebet. I want to be open to her. I have nothing to hide. I can sense her disappointment. I love her history and I really had a good time listening to bebet telling me her misadventures hehehe don't ask, I will NOT put it in writing :) but the thing is, since my ex days like many thousand days ago, I am mentally trained to not to bare all. Most of my ex partner "pretend" to be open and at the end of the day stab me back with my stories. I know Bebet won't do that to me. I know that so very much but it's just my defence mechanism kicks in. I need to be peel like an onions I guess. Layer after layer slowly and surely I will bare all. Really hope bebet will be able to do this.I need to be mentally 'safe' to tell my tales. Reassurance would be nice too. I want to bare all to her but I really don't know how. Now I understand how those people who can't find their way back feels like. Helpless... in the dark with flesh eating zombies all around, sigh...

Oh, today is our mini anniversary. Gosh, I've been married for quite sometime now. I still miss bebet so much, love bebet so much and wants bebet so much. I'm just not too happy about the depression of comparing our roster months in months out. It is such a hopeless situation where your day together are dictated by a few cunts and pricks in the office. Bebet is doing narrow body flights and with the company expanding like a cow having a fit, she is flying like a machine. Wake up, get ready, make up, pick up, reporting, fly fly fly and smoke smoke smoke, touch down, eat if possible, back pain, momot pick up back home, smoke, fuck if able sleep and repeat the whole charade.

But then, If, bebet quits her job, what would bebet do at home then? Sitting at home watching Kate and some kids +8 while eating her M & Ms and clicking her farmville, frontierville and cafe world? I wouldn't want her to waste her time like that. But then again the plus point is, If I'm still in 777 we would have more time together. decisions decisions decisions...

Guess the best thing is to get preggy and see from there on. Talking about that, I really think we should do something about it pretty soon. Tawaqqal and hopefully the BIG guy won't punish us too much...gosh have I used up all my luck?

Oh well, last but not least, happy new year to you. Peace be upon you my friends and my foes too. Hopefully 2011 will brings you better life, better health and better man/woman.

Amen