If Rozita Che wan is...

Was talking rubbish with Bebet the other day after I saw Rozita Che wan's mother's day article in The Star and suddenly a vision struck me...

What if Rozita Che Wan is my wife?

Ya I know it's hilarious. Rozita? My wife? you must be rolling on the floor laughing by now. Hey! But just for argument sake,don't burst my bubble just yet alright.

I don't dress smart all the time. Usually shorts and Tees. Say if I were Rozita's hubby would she sit with me when I'm dressed like that? As a public figure surely people would look at her and wonder who the hell is this loser by her side? Is that her driver? My god, I'm the husband you fart! Rozita as always would elegantly dressed and here I am with my bermuda that I bought from Giant and my faded Astroboy tees ...what the f... Oh well let's imagine another scenario.

You know Burger Longkang? No? Never heard about it? well It's a term the Mrs and I Coined to describe those El cheapo burger that you usually see by the roadside with semi bright tungsten light that runs on half depleted car battery. It never cease to amaze me how in the world they manage to actually see what they're cooking in that kinda lighting condition. To be honest some of them are really good though and it's kind of a default 'meal' when I'm too numb to think what's for dinner.

Okay back to the story. What if one fine day maybe back from shooting and Zeta ( since we're hubby and wife now that's her cute name by the way ) is hungry and I suggested the Burger Longkang and I wonder would she say " are you OUT of your freaking MIND Momot? I have to look after my calorie okay! we wouldn't want to look FAT now do we?" and she would give me the whole 9 yards talk about how she need to earn a living and look good, slim and the sort and she would refuse to talk to me all the way cos I actually suggested 'high calorie' food and think that i'm sabotaging her...

and guess Who wouldn't get laid that night... Ya ya laugh some more...

I love photography. My niche is Urban life. You know, pictures of people in the city, buildings, streets and the lot. You don't have to go far to look for subjects even your neighbour's 18 year old daughter CAN be a subject if you want but hey! That's another story. Oh where were we?

I was imagining another scenario with Zeta. Say what if I have an itch, well let's up the ante a bit, a deadly itch for a photograph outing and since I'm flying most of the time and Zeta's schedule is pack as well, we are left with only 1 weekend together. Now I have to cramp Zeta's shopping session vs Momot's photo shootout and the kids outing in 1 day ... Let see how am I gonna do this...

Okay there are a few elements in this outing. Zeta's shopping, the kids outing and my photoshoot. The most ecomical and productive sense to do it is to cramp all that and to do it in one go and what better place to do it than Petaling Street? I can imagine how loud Zeta would
scream as I turn and park my car in the Central Market parking lot. What? Never heard of Petaling Street? Okay there are Pavillion SuperDuperHyperIronman-ishShinyMiney Shopping Mall in Bukit Bintang for the royalty and the rich and famous and then there is Petaling Street... Which is the total antihero of Pavillion. It's hot, the seller harass you, pack, I'm talking about sardine can pack here and it's the whole definition of cheap and replica ( read rip off fake ) stuff. Oh and I would imagine Zeta screaming louder than a Boeing 777 taking off at full power yelling "what the F@%K ARE WE DOING HERE MOT?! ( contrary to popular belief pretty lady DO scream, and they scream LOUD! ) As a very famous artist, I guess she wouldn't wanna be caught dead cruising the street of Petaling and in the end we just have to chill at Pavillion SuperDuperHyperIronman-ishShinyMiney Shopping Mall sipping a rm17 latte instead of rm1 tau foo fah... Oh well there goes the photoshoot

By now it's dinner time and I would've guess the kids and Zeta must be hungry. 1 of my favourite spot is The Curve's Tony Roma's. I did tried a few diners around town but I still prefer The one at The Curve. I will order the burger for me, Zeta would order her salad and ribs for the kids. As with famous celebrities there will be fans everywhere and so does Zeta. I would imagine they would just ignore our family dinner privacy and would just greet her for photo session and autographs. Those are normal fans wait till you see the Datuks. I would imagine these Datuks, itchy ones yes, would just ignore me and the kids and would just crash into our dinner and sit by her side and take her hand and talk to her as if we are invisible and the kids would look at me with their big round eyes wondering, demanding an explaination on what the hell is going on and why is this old fart holding their mom's hand?

Come to think about it, it's too much pressure for a peasant, a commoner like me. I love fatty food, I roam at the street of Petaling , I love Burger Longkang, I hate itchy Datuks and I love my faded Astroboy t-shirt. In view of all the above I don't think I can be happy with Zeta and hence we have to go our separate ways sooner or later. Gosh I'm sobbing now... NOT!

After what I have been through, I thank god I met Bebet. With her I don't have to pretend and I get to keep my Bermuda and faded red Astroboy tees.

As for Rozita Che Wan, all the above is just for laugh please don't sue me cos I don't think I can afford the amount you demanded

Cheerio





- momot & Bebet -

P.ramlee says ... Dugaan...

Mama said if you're having too much fun,

you might shed some tears at the end of the... Joy (?)

Kinda hard to comprehend when I was a kid

but in a way there are some truth in it ...I guess.

Having a blast of a time few days ago. Should've known it won't last that long :)

But then,
I am grateful that it was fun while it last you know

Alhamdulilah

Like how P.Ramlee put it "...dugaan... :)"

till then,

oh

by the way, have i told you I just got myself a Mac?

it's bloody fast :)

- momot & Bebet -

Happy anniversary Bebet

Bebet!

Happy anniversary !

Gosh 210 days

What a journey

Hugs

- m o t i v a t i o n -

bismillah

ask yourself

how am i gonna love her for the rest of my life?
can i?
would i?
what if i fail?
doubtful? who doesn't

and at times you would just wanna burn the house down
murder her
drown her
prepare a noose to hang her
but you didn't

just do this...
it works most if not all the time

love her as if today is the last day of you life...

insyallah you will be fine

bread and butter

mission : kul-cdg... that's Kuala Lumpur to Charles De Gaulle paris you outsiders!!! Lol, don't be so sensitive now i'm just pulling your legs.

let see...

2 hours and more before... packing

7.50pm the day before, get ready,shower,dinner,hugs Bebet whenever i have the chance

8.50pm waiting for my pick up... late as usual

9.00pm bloody pick up still not here, so called the transport department,checked, yes there is a cab for you sir...the usual bla bla bla yada yada yada nevermind,more time for Bebet

9.10pm finally the cab arrived hugs and kisses for Bebet. Gonna miss you Bet, will be back in 3 days

9.15pm picked up another guy, a Captain. He started chatting but halfway started to bash the government and the company... sorry dude not interested. Played with my phone and text Bebet. Now, thats better.

10.00pm checked in my huge pink luggage

10.05pm in the Technical Crew lounge checking in for the flight Mh20... oh my partner is here. Says hi to everybody,how are you yada yada yada bla bla bla the whole social cycle you know. You can't force kindness. It's natural. sometime you give, most time you pretend to give. Doesn't apply to everybody. Don't start to compose your hate mail just yet :)

10.20pm reporting for the flight,checking the flight plan,checking the weather yada 3x bla 3x "pretend to be interested but i'm not mode" i'm doing the relieve crew anyways so you know...

10.35pm going to the aircraft,we are looking for a huge pink Boeing 777 200 series anybody know where it is? come on guys,i'm not that disinterested till i don't know where it is. It's in... let see C14 or if you want to be cool saying it, say it like this...repeat after me... Charlie one four. cool isn't it? and now i certify you, officially, aviator... wannabe lol

10.50pm stopped by the money changer my partner and my captain wants to change some Euro. Come on guys! Chop! Chop!

11.15pm in the aircraft, please note you aviator wannabe,do say AIRCRAFT instead of THE PLANE.. you sounds like one of those guys in fantasy Island if you mentioned the latter a big no no

1120pm check the aircraft documentation,service records,the whole yada3x bla 3x process. trust me, you don't wanna know. It's boring

I forgot to mention it to you, usually if we flies to Europe there will be more often than not a so called slot time given. We are flying the Northern Route to Paris so due to this very high 'hill' called Himalaya, there will be a bottleneck of aircraft wanting to go on the same route and level ( that's thousands of feet that we cruise). To avoid this and save everybody the time and fuel,we were given a designated time to cross a certain waypoint so that everybody will be happy and would not fight over the route and level. Do you even understand what i'm saying? it's a mouthful i know read it back,slowly

1135pm since i'm doing the relieve team,i have to do the 'walk around' it is literally that. walking around the aircraft to have a look at the landing gear ( that's the wheels,say landing gear if you wanna be cool) the fuselage ( the body of the aircraft ) and engines. But not limited to that i'm just cutting it short so you would not stop reading and starts clicking your farmville tab

5 minutes later in back in my aircraft. Our slot for tonight is 0009 the next day, thats 1209am.

The plan is starts boarding at 1135pm and push back ( thats the term for pushing back the aircraft from the bay for the start ) at 1155pm

somehow I knew it's gonna happen. Murphy smile on us tonight and 3 passengers missing. Went to look for them and boarding only completed at 1203am. Now we only have 6 minutes to start,taxy and take off. Like how Freddie Mercury say it "Under pressure!"

1210am Yeeehawww!! airbourne. We made it! What if we miss the slot time ? The departure will be reschedule for another hour. Bad idea. Like how the Chinaman say it... die die must airbourne

flight time for tonight is 12hours and 25 minutes and i will be resting for half of those.

to cut the story short we arrived at 650 am Paris sunday morning. Time difference is minus 6 hours so that's 1250pm afternoon in Kuala Lumpur

but i will quote everything in malaysian time so you won't be confused :)

reached my room at 1330pm ( 730am paris ) chat with Bebet,checked my Airlines Manager and My pet. plan is to go out at 2pm paris. I hardly had any sleep in the aircraft just now so i just might have to take a short nap later

630pm KL nappy time

thing about having a nap in a hotel with your body clock still maintaining KL time is you tend to over do it heheheh

I woke up at 6 am the next day.Yup i slept for 12 hours

and now it's 2am in Paris,nothing good on tv and nowhere to go. My wake up call is 7 hours from now and pick up is in 8 hours

and you think we are having fun? :)

of course we are...NOT!

till then ciao :)

happy anniversary bebet

good morning bebet
happy 6th months anniversary
hopefully more happy ones to come
i love you so very much
hugs
kisses
and more of the above :)

Orange Sunny From Hell

I think everybody has their own nightmare,believe system,values and the list goes on and on and on. Today I'm just gonna pick one, nightmare.

For people in PAS or Al Arqam their nightmare might be in the form of Megan Fox running to them fully stark naked in all her glory and begging to make love to them... well another man's nightmare is another man's wet dream... i guess

Mine? It's in the form of an Orange Nissan Sunny ... what the Fcuk? i hear you say? read on.

About a year or so ago me and my buddies tinkered with the idea of opening up a garage, where we can chill out and restore our cars.Yeah, we have a few old cars each. Toyotas, Nissans, Datsuns, Mazdas... you name it

So back to the story,

It's an open secret that i own a workshop and i talked about it openly with my colleagues. Oh! by the way I'm not a "garage worker" by trade.

End of December i received a call from one of my colleague.Here I'm just gonna address him as Mr fruity tutti. Mr fruity owns a 20 over years Nissan Sunny and 1 fine afternoon in December he called me for a meeting. There is no slightest indication of him wanting to sent his car for restoring and painting by the way. I quoted him RM 3500 and he passed me the key and agreed to leave his car with me. I also mentioned that the quoted amount would not include all the rubbers, front lamp-which has rusted from inside out from years of having shots and shots of rain water and the front bumper with holes that can actually house a few kitten.

Anyways all those parts,the rubber for 4 doors,the front bumper,the rubber for the front and rear windscreen, a new battery for the remote,a set of new abs rim cover, bulbs, a new battery and a new front plate number come to about RM750.

The car chassis was in a bad shape when we got the car.Both the left front and rear door was decorated with dent as if from a mafia drive by accident. The roof of the car was rigged with rust holes, yes no different from bullet holes from a botch short gun a-la Kurt Cobain suicide attempt.

The body works took about 6 days to complete,due to the fact that the 2 doors needing repairs and Mr Fruity wants a full painting i have decided to remove the whole interiors. It is near impossible to do the roof without removing the interiors. The dashboard was wrapped during the whole process. As with the paint process, my painter took a full 10 days from sanding to painting. Bear in mind,from the moment I received the key, the car didn't even left the garage and I actually took Mr fruity words that the car is in good shape for I have told him that we are not into engines and electrical repairs. Oh, we only start on the paint process 3rd week of January 2010 and the bodywork was completed a week before.

Through out all these process,Mr Fruity haven't make up his mind on what colour to be painted on his Sunny from hell. Just to brief you on a short "Painting 101" . A car that have been fully sanded and filled or bondoed whatever you wanna call it,should be paint as soon as the filler dried up.This is to avoid moisture to sip into the filler and retain water WHICH later will rust your car from the inside. Got it? So while waiting for Mr Fruity make up his mind,the Sunny of a bitches lay in the garage...waiting

Finally end of January Mr Fruity chose Solid orange for Sunny of a bitch. Which orange Momot? Do you think I'm gonna actually share with you my trade secret? Of course not silly! Well safe to say i didn't undercut him on quality. I used a very good and well known brand,which by the way is somewhere between 1 to 2 notch down from the top dollar paint. As for the clear coat,i didn't undercut him on that department too.

So what's the big deal with the clear coat Momot? Contrary to popular believe that the clear coat is not important, well, actually the clear coat IS 1 of the most important ingredient in the paint process. You pay peanuts you get peanuts. Something like that.

Back to our nightmare,

the Sunny from hell was done the 1st week of February 2010. Final inspection was the following week due to the fact that I am not around and a week of Chinese new year holiday. Since this guy is some senior in the company that I'm with, I actually checked and rechecked a lot of things on his car. This is when I noticed a lot of thing is wrong with the Sunny from hell.

The first thing that later snow balled into an avalanche is the car was unable to start. No crank, no tick nor kaput, nada zip nothing. I called the guy from a garage near ours, the guy also can't figure out what the hell is wrong with the Sunny from hell- I know! I Know! enough with the hate already but I can't help it,this car is really jinxed maybe Satan peed on this car for all I care. After doing a few calls i managed to ask 1 of my regular electrician to have a look and guess what? The fuse box has water mark in it. If you still remember, i wrapped the whole dashboard during the whole painting process so there is no way water can sip in the fuse box all that while. The relay for the starter has been short circuit due to that. Alarm was not working so I sent the car to a key and alarm specialist to have a look and guess what? the battery is flat so I replaced it and we gave it a try, thank god it worked. In between all that i managed to change the rim cover, front number plate and bought a set of front lamp bulb.

later that day I deliver the car to Mr fruityand I was tired as hell.

He had a look,and I knew he didn't like it. The car is missing the sun visor,the temperature is creeping to Hot range and the wiring in the trunk is like an octopus from outer space-really bad. For all this I admit it's my problem and we set another date for me to fix whatever is not right with the Sunny from hell.

A few days later I picked up the car and he passed a few remarks saying he should've sent the car to his friend and a few other remark that seems to me, came out from a sore loser. I'm kinda amazed on why people think that if their friend is having a business and if you give some business to that friend, you will get good discount and lower price. Hello dickhead haven't you learn already, lower price = bad job/lower quality/ bad material? God... you even have to pay 30 euro for a fuck. so what, if that hooker is a friend, you really think she's gonna give you free fuck or discounts? oh please... and all this shit during my day off?

so Sunny from hell part Dos

When i got the car, its very hard for us to start and I also noticed the water temperature is creeping. The engine fan is OK i can see that but the temperature keeps on creeping to the Hot zone. Honestly THIS, i can't fix or rather i don't wanna fix for i don't even know whether this is the car problem from the start or during its stay in my garage.

So here is what i did on the 2nd session. I tidied up the wires, cables and the trunk cable. I fixed the petrol door opener cable-the one where you push or pull from the side of your seat when you wanna fill gas. I actually resprayed the front vent grille- the one near the wiper, i resprayed the wiper and the front door rubber decoration. Re thread the screw for the trunk/petrol door opener yup its the same thing i mentioned just now. I go outta my way to change the worn rubber plug for the engine so it won't cause the engine to leak water. As I was test driving the car,it rained. the wiper malfunctioned. I went to see the wire man for the god knows how many time i lost count. He told me all this unable to start,wiper malfunction etc is because of the fuse box is in a bad state and it needs a replacement.

looking at my watch it's already close to 4:30 pm and in 1 hour it's going to be jam everywhere and have to sent the car to him as soon as possible. Last stop,my garage to install the window visors. while installing the visors I noticed that the temperature is just a few notch below H zone and take a peek at the the fan,guess what? it stopped working. So the whole process again, switch off engine-check fuse-check fan-working-restart engine- fuck! now the freaking battery almost flat.

As with any other customer that I handled, before delivery I will wash the car. While waiting I decided to have a few bottoms up of ice lemon tea near the car wash. Give it about half an hour or so then I went and collect the car. Time check? 5: 30 pm damn,I'm freaking late. Promised Bebet to bring her out... I'm s0o0oo gonna get fucked after this. So collect the key,pay the guy Rm7 crank... nothing... god... of all the time the bloody Sunny can go flat,it actually chose a car wash to die on me. So i ran to a car workshop nearby, bought a battery-install it-crank-thank god it worked.

So here I go, re-deliver the car. Jam as hell,but I managed and all the while keeps on checking on the water temperature and I still can see it going up and up and up. finally about 7pm I reached Mr Fruity's residence. He had a look and i briefed him on the problems (notice the 'S') of his car. He still insisted that the car was in good shape when he sent it to me,yeah right.

I reached home about 8 pm that day with my wife giving me the cold shoulder treatment. well I deserved it. I know I promised her but this Sunny from hell is really giving me the heartache and headache. Not to mention the stress. That's why I need to solve this once and for all.

last I heard from Mr fruity he called me a conman... well too bad. I tried though. Believe me I did my best. If you're not satisfy,too bad, that's the best i can do for you. I quit the garage business earlier this month. I just don't think it's even worth to consider anymore,the idea of having a garage I mean. Why not? well, people who are involved in business, they give their 110% or more and here I am doing it during my off day and yes I can clean up people shit-I'm referring to their car by the way :) - but this is too taxing on my well being. My credibility is at stake,my time... which i don't have much anyways. Lesson learned from all this? Never ever EVER ever EVER do business with you friends,colleague or boss if you want to remain friends

So what is you new hobby Momot? I'm doing photography nowadays. Its me versus me. So its okay i guess but hey! that's another story